Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
