so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How external is "for external use only"?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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