Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
