so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
