Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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