And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
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I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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