Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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