one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
