ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
