I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
