Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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