I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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