If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm at about main and main street
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
