Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.

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(740): View more from Ohio

It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior

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(314): View more from Missouri

You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.

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(260): View more from Indiana

He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF

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(773): View more from Illinois

his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him

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(435): View more from Utah

Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.

(1-435): View more from Utah

umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning

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