Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."

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(740): View more from Ohio

I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out

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(503): View more from Oregon

How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.

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(815): View more from Illinois

ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this

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(913): View more from Kansas

all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar

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(812): View more from Indiana

I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.

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(858): View more from California

If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.

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