i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick