Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  And mexicans. My burrito likes you.

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  (212): And mexicans. My burrito likes you. http://tfl.nu/p311
  Replies (2) Good night (1804) Bad night (748)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

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  (847): I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna http://tfl.nu/isgx
  Replies (7) Good night (1710) Bad night (2514)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.

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  (908): so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy. http://tfl.nu/ocps
  Replies (9) Good night (649) Bad night (2613)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.

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  (317): Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow. http://tfl.nu/7vty
  Replies (272) Good night (8571) Bad night (1396)
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  (661): View more from California

  May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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  (661): May God have mercy on my new vibrator. http://tfl.nu/qino
  Replies (98) Good night (8451) Bad night (981)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.

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  (561): My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night. http://tfl.nu/9nah
  Replies (18) Good night (802) Bad night (4857)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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  (319): How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules. http://tfl.nu/ttz2
  Replies (26) Good night (7975) Bad night (1318)
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  (562): View more from California

  I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.

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  (562): I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible. http://tfl.nu/uxem
  Replies (11) Good night (5436) Bad night (953)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.

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  (847): No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it. http://tfl.nu/l9mq
  Replies (9) Good night (4194) Bad night (989)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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  (360): I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too http://tfl.nu/ui5h
  Replies (6) Good night (3255) Bad night (1122)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Are we going out tonight?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My conscience says no but my vag says yes

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  (920): Are we going out tonight? (414): My conscience says no but my vag says yes http://tfl.nu/5n9j
  Replies (7) Good night (2903) Bad night (1007)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!

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  (786): hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth! http://tfl.nu/9piv
  Replies (10) Good night (1091) Bad night (1946)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?

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  (+44): you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck? http://tfl.nu/szfq
  Replies (8) Good night (1719) Bad night (592)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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  (336): Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning http://tfl.nu/no2z
  Replies (5) Good night (1405) Bad night (382)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?

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  (715): Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success? http://tfl.nu/ml6u
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (172)

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