Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance

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(352): View more from Florida

I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk

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(252): View more from North Carolina

it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

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(227): View more from Maryland

I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.

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(602): View more from Arizona

All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.

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