Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station. (1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS. http://tfl.nu/opvz

Replies (24) Good night (7054) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

tie

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant? (1-401): tie http://tfl.nu/oumz

Replies (30) Good night (545) Bad night (2317)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson http://tfl.nu/hv6u

Replies (27) Good night (652) Bad night (2549) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(858): View more from California

we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(858): we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open. http://tfl.nu/kkl3

Replies (23) Good night (14031) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die. http://tfl.nu/bqq9

Replies (9) Good night (983) Bad night (3028) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...

(214): View more from Texas

Was she wearing cherry chapstick??

(972): View more from Texas

No. Life's not always a fairytale.....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan... (214): Was she wearing cherry chapstick?? (972): No. Life's not always a fairytale..... http://tfl.nu/2nel

Replies (24) Good night (6500) Bad night (727)
Favorite
(949): View more from California

Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(949): Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it? http://tfl.nu/e2vj

Replies (12) Good night (1230) Bad night (4134) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up. http://tfl.nu/onjv

Replies (12) Good night (1337) Bad night (3959) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet. http://tfl.nu/qx6i

Replies (4) Good night (940) Bad night (2150) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference http://tfl.nu/95t7

Replies (4) Good night (2105) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow.. http://tfl.nu/bd79

Replies (15) Good night (1640) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(705): View more from Ontario

I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(705): I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka. http://tfl.nu/tvfv

Replies (10) Good night (1063) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead. http://tfl.nu/inpn

Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year. http://tfl.nu/pj0t

Replies (5) Good night (404) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem" http://tfl.nu/nmt9

Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (81) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: