i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
