i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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