I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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