I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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