is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize