just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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