We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
