you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
