Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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