I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize