Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
