OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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