I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
