i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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