K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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