Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
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Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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