Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
