She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
