I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
