I heard we made out
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
we're so committed to being not committed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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