But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
