WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
