then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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