pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
