...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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