I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
