my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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