Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am available for nakedness
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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