Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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