Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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