She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
