Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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