escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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