I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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