Ambien. No doubt about it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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