"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
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He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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