ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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