Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
