Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
