My brain says no but my pants say off.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
