I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
