Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
