she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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