I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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