Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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