This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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