no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
