I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
