The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
